New Year Resolution, I am...

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ganesh The Hindu God of Auspicious Beginnings
This last year had its "low moments;" for me personally and around the world. But thankfully the personal ones didn't last long and in the end I truly felt like I learned from them. I found throughout the last year my challenges, my "low moments," were indeed opportunities to evoke change, positive change in myself and my life. (We saw this happen all around the world too!)

At the end of this year I found myself finally at a place where I am less conflicted about my wants versus my restrictions. I found that people can only restrict you if you allow them to; circumstances can only restrict you as much as you allow them to do so. This doesn't mean life is without challenges, difficult days, or weeks even; nor does it mean ends are always easily met. But I came to realize that believing life should be easy is a restriction in and of itself because I don't believe life is meant to be easy and if one does (as I have at times in my past) then lessons in life challenges may go unnoticed and we may just end up having to face these challenges over and over again.  With that let me also say I don't believe life can't be good even if it is not easy. As I said I came to find that thinking life should be easy is a restriction, one that may prevent true happiness and gratitude. Coming to this realization this year has really provided me a sense of true happiness within and feelings of gratitude for both the challenges in life and just the great things I am blessed to have. Such as my children, my family and friends, my home, my mind, my own abilities to love others and take care of myself.

The month of January is named after Janus, a roman god whose face is in opposite directions, which signifies the reflection of the past year and the future. The name Janus name is from the root, ianua, which means doors; so Janus is the god of doors and passages which symbolizes beginnings and ends.
But trust me I am not one of those people that walk around happy while the world is falling down around them nor do I tell people they should just be thankful for what they have when their roof gets a leak, which blows out their new sound system. Sometimes things suck and it's okay to acknowledge that; I've just stopped accepting these things that suck as a part of who I am or what I am capable of achieving in my life, or that I suck or my life sucks. I believe a little complaining and cynicism can be good too. I certainly have a little Seinfeld in me. But I don't believe I have ever started a new year with such an excitement for what the future may bring, or maybe I should say, what I may bring to my future. During the "low moments" of last year for me I found that these external circumstances didn't match how I felt inside and I finally just got fed up and thought, I want my daily life to match the happiness I have inside myself. And the connection between how I felt or wanted to feel and inviting that into my life on a daily basis meant some things had to change. Now having made changes (both internal and external) I am going into this new year with new confidence in myself, my attention is focused on positive things and people in my life and I believe in my abilities to set the course of my life. Again, this doesn't mean everything will always be super groovy, it just means I finally got to a place where I believe in myself and the positivity I can bring into my life. And mostly, I just learned if you don't like the way things are you can make them different.

So thinking about how the last year started out on the side of the fence where everything looked a lot greener and ended on the side where I am now tending to my own little garden, I had this list of new years resolutions running through my head...drink more water, get my pillows into a local store, organize every centimeter of my house, do yoga everyday, read more, relax more...Oh, there's a lot more where that came from. But on New Years Eve I read this passage about the power of saying "I AM..." and following it with something positive. It really struck me because I felt like when things started to really change for me in this last year was when I started saying "I Can"...I started saying this to myself whether I truly believed I could or not, well, I stopped wondering and doubting and just tried! And lo and behold it worked! I can make pillows and open an Etsy shop...So, my New Years resolution is simply add to that and say "I AM..." If I am feeling tired and yet I have a lot to do (hello, everyday) I am going to say "I am productive." Does that mean I am not going to feel tired? Probably not. If I am feeling stressed out I am going to say "I AM relaxed." Does that mean I will not feel stressed out? Probably not. But it will change the way I see my abilities and hopefully positive action will follow positive thoughts. Basically the idea is just to think positively about yourself and believe in yourself. So whatever my goals or resolutions are, I can just put those two little words in front of it and make it so. 

So here is to a new year of self discovery, happiness and gratitude! Did you have any special lessons in this past year or any resolutions you are ready to tackle in this new one?


  1. I really REALLY like this New Years resolution. "I am..." We just are what we are. I despise comments from people who want you to be happy go lucky all the time: Just be happy that....just be thankful that...just be...NO! Stuff sucks sometimes!!!

    It's been a pretty rough year for my family. No pity party- I'm SO over it. But I have a difficult time changing my feelings. You know, I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do, and it's easier to know it shouldn't matter than to make it not matter. LOL.

    I just am. I like that.

    Visiting from Voiceboks!!

  2. I like the "I am..." too. What a great attitude to have to start the New Year with!
    Thanks for sharing your journey here,

  3. Nice post. You are so right about it being a challenging year with low moments all around. I especially liked realizing "that believing life should be easy is a restriction in and of itself". Boy, did that resonate with me! I want to say that next year (I'm not there yet)! Thanks. Here's to an "I am; I can" Year!

  4. Great idea! I will do the same, there always has to be a positive side to things and that's what we should focus on.

  5. excellent post. Great resolutions for this coming year! New follower from Prototype Mama


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