Photo Diary | Lazy Days |

Wednesday, July 10, 2013








My days of late have been lazy. I had been so busy for awhile and you know what happens when I am really busy? I am really efficient. I get more done. My house is cleaner. I am cleaner. I do small things with every chance I get because the chance to do them is right there and it might not be later. I'll jump out of bed after I have settled in to just go ahead and put my clothes away so I can wake up to a clean room. I will excitedly think of all the projects I wish with all my heart I could be doing if I weren't so busy. And they actually sound fun. And I have to use all of my willpower to stay on task and not dive head first into one project after another.

Then as the busy dies down I still feel the need to be busy and so I force myself to take a break. Force myself to be idle for awhile. Because, you know, I need that after days/weeks/months of busy. But somewhere in my trying to rest and finding it I start to feel like I should get on with doing something. Productive. And I suddenly (or not suddenly but slowly) approach things with a groan and a stretch and an maybe I'll just do that tomorrow. And then when tomorrow comes I say the same thing. And I feel like I should be tackling some list I am sure I wrote down while I was busy - a list of things to do when I was someday not so busy. But looking for said list sounds like too much work. Then I feel a little bad for my lack of effort.

But then I look at my photos and I see the things I have been doing that don't require lists. Something like just being. Being present. Staring at my boys whilst they make a teeter-totter in a hiking trail I dragged us to in order to get away from the house and my feelings like I "should be doing something." I get to look at their faces and study their knees and elbows and absorb the long moments of exactly wherever we are. I hear them when they say "wanna watch me do sumkin?" And I say, "I do!" instead of "in a minute . . ." and then cheer for them after they do something that I think was suppose to be a summersault. I get to have visits with friends and picnics and read books and go for walks. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this stuff - just being is the most important thing I can be doing.

13 comments:

  1. These days are the best aren't they? I've had such a struggle to get over this bug, but all week Callum and I have been doing a West Wing marathon. I feel alarmingly unaccomplished, and then I remind myself that here is my 13 year old asking me to hang out with him? I'm okay with that. :)

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    1. they so are. everyday i try to remind myself (but not dwell too much) of the fact that today will be tomorrow and i will never get this time back. it's so precious and so fleeting! fisher still hangs out with me! it's one of the things i am most thankful for in life. we must be doing something right ;) and that something is probably really just being there. ps hope you feel better! fisher has some summer flu too. what is up with that?!

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  2. Oh you. I go through spurts just like this. Rushing out of bed at 11pm to straighten up the living room and then beating myself up when I don't spend every hour on the weekend writing. But then, just like you said, you realize that just being is enough. I'm doing something! I wish I had a little one to ask me to watch him do "sumkin" though, because that would just burst my heart open from cuteness. Long story short: don't beat yourself up. Sometimes anything is enough. Also, that salad and corn combo looks delicious!! xo

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    1. someday you will and your heart truly will burst. yesterday we had very unusual temper-tantrum courtesy of a mr. milo pollux. but the whole time he was crying "i want breaaaaad!!! i just want bread!" i just thought how happy i was in the moment, how cute he is even when he is screaming. even that made my heart burst. not feeling stress is so lovely :)

      the picnic was at my friends. it was delicious!

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  3. What a great post with absolutely beautiful photos! I totally agree with everything you said..."just being" is definitely the most important thing!

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    1. thank you valerie. sometimes i need a little reminder :)

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  4. How did you do that? How did you manage to put into words exactly what I've been feeling for quite some time now. "Being present" is exactly what I'm concentrating on these days; That and not beating myself up for not doing "more." I keep listening to my Bachan (grandmother), Uncles, and Aunties when they tell me, "The time goes fast. Enjoy every minute that you can, even the hard ones." Adding your beautiful post/reminder to their sage advice. ps~Beautiful photos too, Christine.

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  5. I've had some lazy days lately too :) I love nothing more than spending a day at home in a clean house just relaxing. It's so comforting. I love this - I can practically hear the boys saying "wanna see me do sumkin?" and how lovely it must be to every time be able to say "yes!" :)

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  6. Such beautiful beautiful images and I love how you write about just being. I try and force myself to do that today--it always feels like I wake up behind in the morning, but if we don't take the time, it just passes us by. Hope your summer has been wonderful so far!

    xo Mary Jo

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  7. Loved this post Christine! You have such a beautiful little family - those cheeks are so pinch-worthy! It's about taking it all in. I feel like I go on auto-pilot when I am super busy and 4 days could pass and although I have got tons done, I couldn't tell you exactly what I did. I'm slowing down too and taking the time to listen to my husband's silly stories instead of listening with one ear whilst mentally making a list of things that need to be done. Interestingly enough, as an insomniac, I am sleeping better than I have in years!

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  8. Your lazy day sounds so perfect, especially after being busy for such a long time. You deserve it! I have a hard time being lazy sometimes and always feel guilty but I also enjoyed two lazy days this weekend. Sometime we just have to kick back, relax, let life happen and just be...

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  9. I know how you feel about feeling guilt around not scratching things off your to-do list. But life isn't about lists (that's really hard for me to remember), which you know well and life is about living. Pictures that you take of your boys always make me smile :)

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  10. What a wonderful blog post! And the photos are beautiful and summer-y. I'm the type of person who has to do something productive even during weekends. Combining work with pleasure has always worked best for me. But then comes a time when i simply have to turn everything off and just relax for a few days. We need lazy days and summer is a time that reminds me to slow down and enjoy the change of pace.

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