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Monday, September 30, 2013


I only took a couple days off from blogging last week but it felt like much longer! Though I am glad I did it and I am glad to be back. I wanted to take some time off for a few reasons one of those was my grandfathers service was last Thursday. It was really lovely, but as things like this go, it was emotional. Part of it was (here's the dear diary part) the fact that my biological father was there whom I have only met once in the last 36 years (last time i was 32 - he didn't see his family for about that many years either). I tried really hard not to think about him being there before the service, but in the back of my mind I was dreading this encounter and I knew if he approached me, if we talked, if he wanted to meet my kids, it would all hang on me and I knew I'd need some time to shake that off. I guess I should note, however nice he may be now, I just have no interest in him. He was the epitome of an absent parent: no phone calls, cards, or child support. He's been wanting to 'reconnect' since he moved back here from the east coast 5 years ago, and I don't, so I knew it would be uncomfortable, and, well, yep, it was. But other than that little personal side note it was an absolutely lovely event. My grandfather even had several former students come and a couple of them who spoke about how he was, and still is, the most influential person they have ever met and how he directly impacted the course of their lives. I can't begin say how wonderful it was to hear their stories.

My cold was not the best of timing (they never are) but after taking Friday to just give into it I moved along despite it. I went to a local sewing school for some "rehab"time on Saturday, which was lovely. It's so nice to work along side people. I forget how important that is sometimes (note to self). And after that, feeling all inspired and such, I finally finished sewing up the fabric for pillows that I have been working on in some form or another for the last year. It feels really good to have gotten that done. And I have more fabric I designed coming in the mail this week, hopefully I won't take so long this time. I also tried to get some prints made that I have also been working on for awhile (not nearly as long) but I need to find a different printing place and if I find one soon, I may even get this done in a timely matter.

All weekend it was brilliantly stormy. The top photos are from before the storm rolled in and we had a lovely show of big fluffy clouds in a colorful sky. The bottom photos are from the storm and aftermath. We had huge wind gusts and inches of rain and the city is filled with tree limbs and leaves. I love a good storm but I am hoping there's an end in sight from all this rain. It's seeming relentless. But at least I got to wear my new ankle boots before the rain started. How was your last weekend of September?

19 comments:

  1. Darling, I can't even begin to imagine the feelings you were grappling with last Thursday, all over the spectrum. Sucks that you had to deal with all of those issues from your bio-dad, on a day that should have been reserved for positive, loving feelings. I'm glad you didn't let him get you too down or detract from honoring your grandfather. Those stories from his past students sound so incredible and really speak to the kind of guy he was; not that you needed outside validation but sometimes it's great to say "SEE! It's not just me that thinks he's amazing!!"

    I'm so sorry you have a cold, too, but more power to you for pushing through it and getting some sewing time in this weekend! It all looks very Project Runway, haha, with those dress forms. I've always wanted an old dress form. Can't wait to see that new fabric, twinsy. xoxo

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    1. yeah, that was the hardest bit - it just was not the choicest of venues. the stories were amazing! i am so glad they spoke, there's always that awkward moment when they open the floor to have people speak and no one moves for like the longest minute ever.

      oh and i think one of the designers that was on PR was there teaching someone. i didn't recognize him until he talked, and then his voice totally made me think it was him but he was leaving so i didn't get a good look at him at that point. so i am not sure but he did work with the woman who runs the school before he went on PR - so maybe?

      xoxoxo!

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  2. I'm so sorry you had such a difficult week, and I can't imagine all the things you must be feeling. But it sounds like the service was wonderful and I'm happy you got time to honour your grandfather.

    I'm so happy you're back !
    Cheers.

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    1. thanks so much! i am glad to be back too. normal life is awesome :) xo

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  3. Christine, I am sorry your week was such a hard one, but how wonderful about your grandfather's students. P.S. your pillows are so beautiful! I just clicked over to your site. Please tell me that you are going to offer that teepee print, I think I must get one :)

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    1. thanks MJ! i am hoping to offer the teepee print soon, i just need to find a better printer. i have the same design for pillows too. i am getting excited. it's nice to have new stuff to work with, i forget how motivating that is! xo

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  4. Oh Christine, I am so sorry to hear about your Grandfather. It is never easy to say goodbye. Yesterday on our way back home from Carmel we stopped by my Great Aunt's old house. She passed away in 1995...I had not been there since and I wanted to see it. The memories I had there when I was little were so special. The new owners let us walk around and through the house. It looked exactly the same. She even bought some of the furniture when it sold and it remained in the same locations as when my aunt lived there. It was such an emotional/wonderful/surreal experience. For a moment I felt my aunt there. It's amazing the power of memories. Your Grandpa still lives in that space. Hugs!

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    1. thank you so much. i am really glad my grandmother will be staying in her house for awhile. i totally know what you mean, my other grandparents house, gah, i miss it so much! so many wonderful memories. it's awesome they let you go in. i can imagine it was exactly a giant concoction of emotional/wonderful/surreal. xoxo

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  5. i'm so sorry that you had to go through the awkwardness of seeing your biological father during an already emotional event. i'm glad you didn't let it affect you too much and that you got to enjoy your grandfathers service, since it should be something to commemorate his life.

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    1. thanks yelle <3 i just tried the whole "lalalalala" method, it worked mostly. now just distance from it should do the trick.and yes, i realy enjoyed the service, luckily it wasn't until after that that the awkwardness ensued ;) xoxo

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  6. For some reason I popped back on here to find that I'd never posted my comment to you today! Doh! I think I must have just emailed you instead! ;) I always get to read your posts first thing in the morning while Cal is getting ready (it's best if I don't hover while he's brushing his teeth!), and your words had me thinking about you all day. I'm so sorry your Grandfather's memorial was compounded with the awkward reunion with your dad.

    It really sounds as if you managed to make it a lovely experience, regardless. I'm sure your grandfather would have been pleased and proud. Holding you in my heart, my friend. XOXO

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    1. thank you mama. and thank you for the email and keeping in your thoughts. it means a lot. xoxo

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  7. I've been thinking of you Christine and sending all the good happy thoughts I can muster your way. It's so wonderful that your grandfather had such a powerful and inspirational impact on others' lives. We should all strive to live our own that way and be remembered with such honor when we are gone. Big hug to you and I'm here if you need a shoulder (or ear).

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    1. thank you roothers. i can feel the good and happy vibes, they are taking over! sometimes it helps to go through the muck, then you can just let it all go after. and gosh i think my grandfather would just be beaming. he loved being loved and he certainly was, but i really learned he did it all by being giving, he never asked for a thing in return. i am going to put that on my "note to self" list. xoxo

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  8. I am so over this weather! but its supposed to be nice this weekend.

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    1. so. over. it. the storms were fun but this is just over kill at this point. bring on the weekend.

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  9. oh no. that must have been hard. I only met my biological father once, too, and by accident. I sometimes wonder what to do should he ever try to reconnect. I have no hard feelings towards him. I have absolutely no feelings. he is not an issue. and I want it to stay this way. should he ever want to talk, that is bound to change. there are no good reasons to not care about your children. it wouldn't matter if he made excuses or took full responsibility. once these things are on the table I would have to have an opinion on them, and I frankly don't want to. I want him to stay a nonentity.

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