Birthday Reflections

Thursday, January 30, 2014


Holla, it's my birthday! Though my holla is more of a very horsy whisper. I think I am approximately at stage 12 of this terrible cold/flu, which I am desperately hoping is the final stage. So today I am just going to take it nice and easy. Which really is fine because I have never been a holla sort of birthday girl anyway. I mean I want to be (feel like i should be?) but I always end up feeling a bit more comfortable in a day of quiet meandering. I remember my third birthday party, I was in the bathroom and I was wearing this terrible wool skirt with terrible tights and a more terrible itchy sweater, I was trying to hike my tights up to no avail and just wishing I could just stay in the bathroom, preferably naked. I didn't want to go out there with my tights locking my knees together and face the cake, the singing, the balloons, the guests, it was all too much. Well, the presents weren't, I was still pretty pumped about those, which is what got me out of the bathroom I am sure.

And seriously I am thirty-eight now! This doesn't feel extraordinarily celebratory. I mean I am super happy to be alive and I am sure in 20 or 30 years I will think how foolish I was to think this was "getting old" but you know, it's day one, the shock hasn't worn off yet (though I will admit last year when I turned 37 I was immediately shocked that the following year I would be thirty-eight, so I guess maybe it's not shock). The fact that I am two years shy of forty completely boggles my mind. I am officially out of my mid-30's and into my almost-40's. And it's not to say I think of forty as old at all. I definitely don't. But I feel so much younger than the number I get when I count from 1976 to 2014. And really, I often have to count how old I am on my hands just to make sure, because, time, it goes so fast! I thought it sounded really weird to say I had a 16 year old, but saying I am thirty-eight sounds way more foreign rolling out of my mouth. Not that it rolls, it kind of lingers in waiting for confirmation, and thuds down to the ground very unceremoniously. But it's true! The positive to all that I suppose is the fact in itself that I do feel young. I still look at my life in terms of finding myself, learning and growing - possibilities, even if in more neurotic moments there seems to be a ticking time bomb attached (what am i doing?! where will i be in 5 years?! what's a 401k?! when will i ever go to paris?! i don't want to be old when i go to paris! i wish i looked like amélie - yes, i can pretty quickly transgress down these dark alleyways of thinking). But really, I am grateful that every year without fail I am shocked with the age my drivers license tell me I am - which, eek, expired today, don't tell anyone! I am seriously considering going to go get a haircut and go all out for this one, the next time it expires I think I will be 52!

And if you were a child in the 80's here's a few memory lanes for you to take a stroll down with me if you like -

Mall scenes from the 80's which was the last time I really enjoyed going to the mall.

Oh, the memories pinboard. This pinboard is from a friend of mine, in fact it is from my lifelong childhood friend. I actually only discovered that she had this board a few days ago and it made my day. Everything on it is either something I had or she had or we both really wanted.

I thought of commentary I could leave for every single one of these (well except number 33, I don't remember that at all) but being as there were 50 I figured that this post would get really long and boring so decided not to.

And last but not least -

While I was perusing The Everygirl archives last weekend I read this interview with Victoria Smith which made me feel awesome and reminded me that there is never a time in life to not try something new, see the world, change careers, and generally just go after your passions. 

23 comments:

  1. Oh, Happy Happy Happy Happiest of days to you my dear friend. I hate that you're ill, but I clearly know that sense of "oh good, now I have an excuse to just hang out and relax." I'm hoping today brings you all those relaxing feelings and none of those itchy tight feelings. (Had those too. I can distinctly remember the year I didn't want to have Happy Birthday sung to me. Made my mom SO MAD!)

    Oh my lovely. Thinking about you, all lovely love thoughts, all day. XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you friend <3 yeah, i am totally okay with taking it easy today. but i will make up for it over the weekend. hopefully with something really delicious. xo

      Delete
  2. Happiest birthday and if you ever want to take that Paris trip, you let me know. I also think you should definitely go all out for your next driver's license photo. Something super glam with those beautiful red locks of yours

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we really need to set a date! maybe i can make up for my lifelong preference of quiet birthdays with one really amazing birthday trip to paris. 40 sounds good, non? and, yes! i have never ever had a good photo on my drivers license it's seems to have been taken at all my most awkward stages, so this time, man i need to make it good!

      Delete
  3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL!!! What a wonderful day for a wonderful girl. You don't look a day over 28, if that makes you feel better about turning 38. I know I freaked out over my own birthday last month, so this might sound hollow from someone who was just complaining over her own age, but age ain't nothing but a number. And you know all you need to do is swing by Philly for a layover on the way to Paris and I will go with you, right? We can get matching Amelie haircuts and traipse around the city together pretending we are still 16 (I still feel 16, too). Oh, happiest birthday, darling! You have so much to be proud of on this big day. Sending you lots of love and cupcakes. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. age really isn't anything except for the part where you physically age and well, you can't live forever. but really i know the difference between 28 and 38 is pretty minor in the scheme of life and i do want to get old. i want to get really old. but still, eek! i really think these last few birthdays in your 30's must be the hardest. i have heard it's not so bad after that, but we shall see. i am not convinced i won't be in shock every year on my birthday for the rest of my life ;)

      and, you already know my trip to paris includes you. that's just how it has to be now. xoxo

      Delete
  4. happiest of birthdays dear! i do hope that you get to relax today and feel a little better to enjoy your bday. i do hope that you get a little crazy with a new haircut to celebrate a new drivers license!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much! it's been a wonderful relaxing day so far. xo!!

      Delete
  5. happy birthday darling! if you need a travel-buddy to go to paris with you, i'm totally game :) thank you for sharing the hilarious pinterest board and the inspiring article about victoria smith...she is such a breath of fresh air. love your candid and honest perspective, like always! you make 38 look fabulous {but how couldn't you with that gorgeous red hair!?} lots of love.

    Molly {Dreams in HD}
    http://www.dreamsinhd.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks molly! you are too kind. i think we should have a bloggers retreat in paris. how fun would that be?!

      and, yes, i love victoria smith. the first time i really discovered her there was just something affirming about her and her whole vibe. so i loved reading that article and seeing that she did indeed switch careers and start blogging in her 40's. i also love the factoid about julia child not learning to cook until she was in her 30's. xoxo

      Delete
  6. happy birthday! I hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you! i think i am finally over the hump of this bug! xoxo

      Delete
  7. Oh dude. How annoying to be sick on your birthday! Blah! Feel better. And I'm loving the memories of the eighties. Haha. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, the 80's were kind of the best. i may not love saying "thirty-eight" but i am so happy i grew up then.

      Delete
  8. Happy Birthday dear friend, I hope you enjoy a quiet but equally wonderful, lovely, beautiful day. I'm sure all your sweet boys will treat you so nice.
    If it makes you feel better when I started reading your blog I thought you were 29, because you look so unbelievably fresh faced so I always always waiting for you to get around to the story of your challenging teen pregnancy and how it made you a much stronger person. Kudos on your fresh face and bright spirit.
    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha, i would have been a pre-teen mom, almost! but thank you. 29 is a good age, but if i had to pick one to stick with i'd go with 32. if it weren't for having a teenager i would totally consider just lying about my age. not out of vanity but just because, age is so abstract in reality. i had fisher when i was almost 22, which really, felt like a being a teen mom!! but having m+l 10 years later at 32, you know, there's advantages to both. it was hard being so young with fisher, but it was awesome too. we had a lot of fun and a lot of adventures together. i am much more boring now ;)

      Delete
  9. Happy Birthday Christine :) I hope you have an extra special day filled with donuts and vintage goodness :) ok maybe thats what I want lol. but it sounds pretty good right?

    You know I think you are as old as you feel and what's in your heart. I turn 35 this year and I can not even think about it! because I feel like 25.. ok maybe that's my maturity level.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ooo, 35 i think that was the first one i cringed at and have since then. but see when you say it it sounds so young! i still feel 16, and i wonder sometimes if this is a good thing of feeling youthful or a bad thing of still feeling really immature, haha. but i just go with youthful. xo

      Delete
  10. Happy happy birthday Christine! Oh my gosh, all of the above and that crazy transgression of thoughts ending in Amelie, ha! I can so relate! But you are really really young and I can't wait to see all the things you will be doing in the coming year(s)! Loved that interview with Victoria too!

    xo Mary Jo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Happy birthday, Christine! You are as young as you feel, that's always been my philosophy. About those things we all wish we did by a certain age, I was reading something a few days ago that I liked very much, saying that while you should embrace every opportunity that comes your way now, there is nothing wrong in waiting for other things, and in doing so, generating some excitement over what is to come, it may prove to be an even greater adventure in your 40s or 50s and so on. I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday and that you were spoiled by your kids and family. :) Love that collage!

    ReplyDelete
  12. ahhhhhhhhhhh, the one time I'm stepping away from the blogging world for more than a day and I miss your birthday. I don't believe this. I haven't even read your post yet. but I need to wish you a happy belated birthday. I'm so, so sorry I missed it. I hope you had a great day xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. ok, now in more detail... I hear you, when you said you're 38 I had to pause and think how old I am. and then I realized this would just depress me, because I'm approaching the big 4-0 too, so I stopped. stupid, isn't it? the thing is, I've never been happier with who I am inside my head. I still overthink, overreact and over overdo, but I've accepted it as part of who I am. all the things I'm working on personally, I will work on forever, but I'm ok with the process. no more 'once I've done x, learned y or achieved z I'll be enough' - I'm enough the way I am. well, most days. I still have issues with getting older. I wonder how much of this is because I'm a child of the 80s and because of learned concepts. when we grew up, there were still fairly clear expectations of what you were supposed to be come a certain age. people just ten years younger than us think differently already. we're those in between people. it applies to so many things, and to the way we deal with age too.

    ok, no more monologues :) again, I'm so sorry for having missed your bday. xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Comments are awesome and so are you. So, please, share what you have to say!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

The Plumed Nest All rights reserved © Blog Milk - Powered by Blogger