I am so ready for spring, but it seems spring is not ready to be here quite yet. Yesterday we had little flakes of snow falling from the sky and harsh cold winds that blew back my screen door, crashing two rather large heavy flower pots down to the ground, which proved to be quite heavy to pick up with my frozen fingers. And it's suppose to get much colder this week. We might get more snow (nothing like snow elsewhere, but still, we are mild temperature rain people around here). I am not one for the cold. When I get cold I almost start to panic. This seizer that my muscles seems to go into doesn't help my mysteriously atrophying right shoulder. My body retreats into itself in a tense and locked-in state and I can't lift my chin from my chest to look where I am walking; which I'd normally avoid doing in the freezing temps but am now routinely pulled out into the cold by my pup for our daily walks. All in all I dread the cold.
I remember when I was about 3 and half, we lived in Idaho at the time, and my great-aunt like everyone else up there was the outdoorsy type. And I was too. I loved my pony and sheep and camping and foraging in the woods and jumping across the creek on rocks and laying in the grass with my St. Bernard (actually my aunts dog, but i am pretty sure you would have gotten an argument from both me and the dog on this point. we were tight). I was always outside. So come winter my aunt thought I would also enjoy skiing. I did not. She signed me up for a ski class and I cried clinching my ski poles and licking the snot that was freezing on my upper lip. They kept telling me to try to ski but I was literally unable to move my legs from being so cold despite my awesome snowsuit. I was miserable. I couldn't understand why my normally doting aunt was punishing me. And I couldn't understand the argument that "it's fun!" It was likely the least fun thing I had ever done in my 3.5 short years. But come summertime I would happily fry in the sun. Once my grandparents took me to Hawaii and I stayed in the ocean the entire day, my suit had ridden up exposing my unprotected by sunscreen little buns and I had 3rd degree burns. My memory might be exaggerating, but I remember two giant purple stripes. But the next day I was back out building sandcastles and snorkeling. I have so many memories of being so hot I couldn't stay awake and falling asleep from the heat, but these are some of my favorite memories, the warmth inducing in me a wonderful languor.
While I think I look a lot better in the cold than I do all sweaty and red from the sun, so freckled I start googling signs of skin cancer, and I prefer the head to toe winter clothing options, the bulky sweaters and scarves, but my soul really longs for the sun and color and flowers bursting from the buds on the trees and uprooting little bits of soil, and with this most recent cold snap I am feeling ready for the nice in between months of winter and summer that are ahead. Quite ready for spring.