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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The truth is I am pretty exhausted and I've felt a little disconnected from everything that I usually feel most connected with. I have been getting a lot done, but I feel like I have just pulled back the first couple layers and am still a ways from where I want to be with my de-cluttering, reorganizing, decorating projects. Basically I keep finding more and more to do. And I want to be done. I want to enjoy the summer, but I have it in my head that I neeeeeed to get all this done, and then, enjoying summer will really be enjoyable - the work will be done. But is the work ever done? Oy. By the time I am done with my current projects I am going to have to catch up on other work. Vicious cycle, I say. But time slips by so fast. Blink and school will be starting. Then things gather so fast. Stop and I'll have another pile of stuff to sort through. I think most of us go through this on some level. And for the most part I really just try to deal with one thing at a time. It seems to be a golden rule of sorts that works ninety-nine percent of the time. But of course there is that one percent, which is where I seem to be. 

And maybe the biggest culprit of all is that all the time I have spent with my head buried in these projects it has allowed me a lot of time with my thoughts. They just ping pong around my head as I am painting, clearing a closet, going through old boxes. I go from completely spacing out (my favorite), to making more mental to-do lists, to replaying old conversations (least favorite), to childhood memories, to my business, to my kids (oh my god, i need to teach them to write their letters before they go to school! what am i doing inside this closet?!), and generally thinking about the things I am not doing while I am doing something else. I am not sure which is actually more exhausting: the work or listening to myself ramble and argue with myself for hours on end in my own head. 

Images 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6


  1. oh, I don't know what to say. one the one hand I want to tell you to be more present (but I'm sure you know that), on the other hand I know how easy it is to get sucked into work (and how good it feels, and how crazy it can make one at the same time). it's such a dilemma for people working in creative areas.... xoxo

  2. I read this and thought, ok, I am not the only one. I struggle with keeping my head in the now, but I find it so hard. My biggest battle is worrying about things while I am doing other things that I worry about, oy.

  3. I know I hear you! I have so much I want to do to and there is so much time in the day. And yes it is all so much harder in the summer, when you feel you should be out enjoying life. Oh and great round of images btw.

    Allie of ALLIE NYC

  4. Your post reminds me of that line in the movie Enchanted April, "The mind slips sideways..." My mind often slips sideways (in good ways and bad) when I'm deep in tasks like the ones you're in (and I'm in some myself.). It's hard to let your mind just do its work, isn't it?

    And don't worry overmuch about those pesky letters, I think. Even if your boys don't have them completely down by the time they get to school, I bet they're primed and ready to go. Bursting forth!

  5. My brain totally sabotages itself ALL the time so I know where you're coming from. And I've been treating summer the same way, promising myself that I'll really get down to enjoying it once I find the time. Of course I'm never going to find the time. And then it'll be fall. Which is probably the saddest thing I've typed today. I keep saying "this weekend I'll do it"...

  6. I have a terrible habit of beating myself up at the end of the day over all the things I didn't get done that day. I try to make a lot of lists, especially if I am feeling overwhelmed. I will just start listing everything big and small. Then I will start making smaller lists out of the big list, a list for the biggest priorities, then what I hope to get done by the end of the current week, then I break that list into a daily list and go day by day. I am finding that I have to make my daily to-do lists a day ahead or else I get too overwhelmed by wanting to do everything in one day, then I will usually give up part way through and in comes the vicious cycle of guilt! Hang in there!! xo


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