The truth is I am pretty exhausted and I've felt a little disconnected from everything that I usually feel most connected with. I have been getting a lot done, but I feel like I have just pulled back the first couple layers and am still a ways from where I want to be with my de-cluttering, reorganizing, decorating projects. Basically I keep finding more and more to do. And I want to be done. I want to enjoy the summer, but I have it in my head that I neeeeeed to get all this done, and then, enjoying summer will really be enjoyable - the work will be done. But is the work ever done? Oy. By the time I am done with my current projects I am going to have to catch up on other work. Vicious cycle, I say. But time slips by so fast. Blink and school will be starting. Then things gather so fast. Stop and I'll have another pile of stuff to sort through. I think most of us go through this on some level. And for the most part I really just try to deal with one thing at a time. It seems to be a golden rule of sorts that works ninety-nine percent of the time. But of course there is that one percent, which is where I seem to be.
And maybe the biggest culprit of all is that all the time I have spent with my head buried in these projects it has allowed me a lot of time with my thoughts. They just ping pong around my head as I am painting, clearing a closet, going through old boxes. I go from completely spacing out (my favorite), to making more mental to-do lists, to replaying old conversations (least favorite), to childhood memories, to my business, to my kids (oh my god, i need to teach them to write their letters before they go to school! what am i doing inside this closet?!), and generally thinking about the things I am not doing while I am doing something else. I am not sure which is actually more exhausting: the work or listening to myself ramble and argue with myself for hours on end in my own head.