A Bird Ballet

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

This is just something I came across this week and it immediately felt soothing to my soul in the way that reminded me my soul needs soothing sometimes. Summer is almost to an end here. Going on our mini-vacation was so wonderful, but it was a lot of miles to drive in a short time, and seemed to span years, lifetimes even. So it wasn't exactly relaxing. Not to say that's a bad thing. 

I also realized, upon returning, that I often don't feel like I get a lot (enough) done in a day, but coming back to piles of work I realized it is a lot on most days. Just keeping up is a lot. And being able to do that on a daily basis is pretty awesome. But while it was a good objective perspective time for much reflection on it was sidestepped (after my quick pat-to-self on the back) by trying to catch back up. Also with the close of this summer M+L will be starting school. And the truth? I am excited. And a heartsick. I keep trying to focus on all the positive because, well, it's how I like to roll, makes you feel better and all. But also something that makes you feel a bit better is being honest. 

And honestly there are so many positives to think about. The friends they will make, the things they will learn, the (uninterrupted) time I will have during school hours to work (omg!!), the artwork they will bring home, school performances - even after Fisher left his kindergarten class I still always watched the little ones at all performance because, d'uh, there is just nothing cuter. But of course they are my little tiger and all-day everyday so my mind sometimes slips and thinks of other honest things and feelings like "what if their faces flood with embarrassment and I am not there? what if someone teases them? what if they get hurt? what if they don't know all the answers?!" I know, none of us know all the answers. Being embarrassed can make some of our best stories later in life and everyone gets hurt sometimes. The logical person in me who truly wants them to grow to be strong independent people knows these things. But the mama in me is a little bit sad. Not because of those things really. I am afraid to say it's more selfish than that. It's the time and that realization that it slips, or has slipped and you want to catch it and hold tight in your fist but you can't. You have to let it go.

And for a laugh, or maybe a bravo, this amazing little piece of satire on being a mother.


  1. Heartsore and excited for you and with you. I know this. I know this. The end of summer always fills me with regrets and what-might-have-beens. I'm feeling them keenly this week, and believe me, it's TIME for Cal to go back to school. ;) But oh, the time, it moves so fast. I just have to remind myself that moving forward is always, always better for us. Deeper and richer, even as we let something go. Holding you in my heart. XO

  2. I still can't believe that they're as old as they are. Can it really be that time flies by so quickly? I can't wait to see how those boys of yours grow and flourish and, with the safe and creative home environment you provide for them, anything is possible. Untapped and expected potential can be such a damning thing but it can also be a symbol of hope for the future and that it'll all be better, much much better than what it is now

  3. Aw! I am happy for you and M+L, great adventures and discoveries lie ahead for them. And some well deserved independence for you. xo

  4. Nice blog and sharing, I wish you to have a happy day~ =D

    (A Growing Teenager Diary)

  5. I'm not a mum, and I can only imagine it to some extent, but I can understand that it's a big change for you. they'll be fine. and it's a learning experience for all three of you. xoxo

  6. I witnessed something similar to what is shown in this film this past weekend, spent at my parents' country house. First it was more like a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds, when I saw this mass of starling birds landing in my father's vineyard, everything was black. Then they flew off and joined other flocks and I witnessed their dance in the sky for a few good minutes.

    Starting school, that's a big step for all of you. i can imagine it is hard to let go, but I can equally imagine this is an excitement time in your lives for what is to come - the best things I hope.


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